i am neurotic.

I absolutely cannot eat a floppy or soft french fry. The only acceptable french fries are crispy ones, with square cut ends, none of those pointy-ended fries. And I cannot eat a fry whole, or eat two or three at once – it must be exactly two bites per fry, because I feel like I’m eating too fast if I put the whole thing in my mouth.

Whenever I go to Taco Bell, I order a bean & cheese burrito and I always ask for no hot sauce, please. Before I eat it, though, I have to put hot sauce in it. My friends and family think I’m weird, but the idea of having someone else determine how much hot sauce to put in my burrito freaks me out. What if they put too much, or not enough? I feel safer knowing that I have complete control over how much hot sauce goes in my burrito.

When I was in grade school, I learned how to write haikus and, by extension, to count syllables in words and sentences. For years, I would tap out words and sentences with my fingers on one hand. I would always start with my pinky and go to my thumb. I would almost always tap out the word or sentence five times just to end the tapping on my thumb. I still tap my fingers to song lyrics or beats and I still like to end on my thumb.

I can’t stand when people put dirty clothes in the dryer to fluff them. Especially pants, that’s the worst. You have worn them all day and sat in so many places. There’s could be so many germs on them. Then you put your clean undergarments in there! I don’t fall for the heat kills germs anymore than I fall for the ten second rule. Don’t give that, well I’ll turn them instead out. Just wash them!

When I put on lip gloss, I have to start in the center of my top lip, then to the left, then from left to right on my bottom lip, then right to center on my top lip. I do this in one smooth motion. When I’m back at the center, I twirl the lip gloss. I think it looks prettier that way.

I can’t stand if someone wants to follow me somewhere in their car when we decide to go somewhere together. I want them to ride with me so that we don’t have to be alone. Even if it means that there is more mileage in the end.

If I am eating a toasted bagel plain, I have to eat the “skin” (I guess we can call it crust) off the outside of the bagel, then eat the bready part by taking it off the toasted top, and save the crunchy toasted top for last. It totally tastes better that way.

I must always shower with the door/curtain to my left and the wall to my right. In some showers, this results in my showering with the showerhead behind me – a ‘backwards’ shower. If I have been staying at a hotel or someone’s house where I had to take backwards showers for a while, I must take an extra long regular shower when I get home to make up for it.

When I make a cup of tea, I hold the string and pull the teabag from side to side exactly 20 times. Then I leave it in the hot water for exactly three minutes. I do not drink tea made in any other way. I am convinced the tannins will be too weak or strong.

My mother once told me that if you accidentally put your undies on inside out it was good luck, and to change them the right way is bad luck. So i have to take them off and get a whole new pair. I just don’t wanna risk the bad luck!