i am neurotic.

When I was younger my grandparents bought me and my brother harry potter towels. To this day I’ve never EVER used them because I’m afraid if I do, something bad will happen to my parents just like in Harry Potter.

I’m a screenwriter, and EVERY TIME I reach the middle point of my story, I absolutely convince myself that there’s a loophole so big, it’s impossible to continue.

When I’m at the grocery store unloading my cart I have to keep the like items together. Produce, frozen foods, toiletries etc. I don’t like it when they get mixed up and get especially annoyed if despite my keeping them separate, the bagger stuffs different categories of things in the same bag.

I can’t leave a place (home, work, restaurant) or go to bed without visiting the restroom first regardless of whether I have to go or not. If I don’t then I start feeling like I have to go and won’t be able to sleep or worry that I won’t be able to find a restroom.

Whenever I’m on holidays I try not to organise too many social events because I really want a few days to myself to veg out and relax. I then spend those days worrying about whether I have any friends and will die alone, having passed up invitations to sit at home and do nothing.

I count letters everywhere: a=1, b=2, c=3, etc, up until the letter f. I stop at f because that’s the highest that I can count quickly. I’ve been doing this as long as I can remember. I wish I could stop. I miss out on conversations sometimes because I’m too busy counting letters.

I was browsing at a bookstore today… I came across the I Am Neurotic book. I read the entire thing. My neuroses was blatantly confirmed by my internal monologue following many of the vignettes I read: “That’s a really good idea.”; “Oh my gosh, I hadn’t thought about people hacking into my computer and looking at me through the web cam.” So, now, here I sit, with my web cam covered, writing this post. Does it get any more neurotic than reading others’ neuroses and realizing that there is so much more I must be doing?

I can’t swim in my pool alone. I’m always afraid a shark will appear and eat me. Or the ghost of a former resident of my house. Or an alien.

Ever since I was little I have to make sure the Purple crayon isn’t next to the blue crayon. I thought that the blue and red crayon were in love and the purple was trying to steal blue away from red.

I canNOT touch the bottom of my shoe if my life depended on it. Even if it’s with just my nail, I cannot even bare to touch it. If i accidentally do, I have to make sure that finger doesn’t move or touch anything else until I wash it.