i am neurotic.

I count words on my finger tips whenever someone is talking to me. If the sentence ends on a thumb, it was a good conversation and I am ready to move past it. If it doesn’t, I continue to speak on the subject until it does.

I do not like it when food is placed on a chair, even for a moment or if the food is packaged or bagged. I cant help but think that since people sit in chairs, their rear ends’ residue is lingering and will get on the food. It completely grosses me out!

when at work, I feel like I have to clock in and out so that my time card comes out to a rounded number. For example, I am currently until 5:20 to clock out because I clocked in at 8:20. If I had clocked in at 8:19, I would’ve clocked out a minute sooner to keep it even. My boss has taken note of this on my paychecks.

when walking, my feet cannot touch or cross any crack or line in the floor, nor can they touch or cross any line made by the imaginary extension of an edge of a nearby object.

I cannot read the fortune from a fortune cookie until I have completely chewed and swallowed every last bit of the cookie. This means that I must take the fortune out and hold it hidden in my hand until I am done with the cookie. If I peek at the fortune before I finish the entire cookie, I consider the fortune void. If I am around other people who are also eating fortune cookies, I insist that they follow my rule if they want their fortune to come true.

I eat pizza backwards. When I was 3, I hated the crust, so I got it out of the way first. I haven’t let up in 15 years. Not once.

Before I shut my car off the volume has to be turned to 10, the air conditioner set to cold (speed 1). Then turn the wheel straight and shut it off.

I must have pencil crayons lined up in the colour spectrum, otherwise I may miss the perfect shade and settle for a rubbish colour, where they are unable to be missed in rainbow order.

Whenever I walk over manholes, or subway grates, I have to hold onto the things in my pockets and my wallet. Tightly. If I don’t I’m sure something important will fall down it.

When I see something I like in a store and want to buy it, I have to go to almost every shopping center in town, to make sure that there is nothing better anywhere else. When I am fairly confident that there is nothing better, I go back to the first store and contemplate for 10 minutes. Two out of three times I ended up not buying.