i am neurotic.

whenever I drive, I always have to ask if I can turn right at red lights, or at stop signs. even if someone else is in the car, I just have to say “I can go? yes.”

A few years ago a friend of mine told me about people who would hide under cars and wait for their owners to get close so they could slash their ankles and take their keys to steal the car. To this day, whenever I’m in a parking garage, if I get to close to a vehicle that isn’t mine, I have to say “Thaaaat’s not my car” so the ankle slasher will know that I don’t have the keys.

if it’s raining outside and i have the windshield wipers on, i have to turn off the car exactly when the windshield wipers hit the bottom of the window. if i mess up and the wipers are still in the wiping position, i have to turn on my car and try again.

Whenever i drive, I let a certain number of people cut in front of me by giving them way. I always think this racks up my good deed points, just in case i need to use them on a day when i’m rushing somewhere and need to cut in front of someone. Also, I always have to let two cars cut in front of me to be able to cut in between once myself.Balamouk Lp album download

i hate that windscreen wipers dont clean the whole windscreen and leave that weird double cone shape, just like with the chalk board.

Every time I am the passenger in a vehicle, I tap my foot everytime a road line goes by. If the line is on the right side of the vehicle it is the right foot that taps. Left side, left foot. If the lines are going to fast for one foot i will alternate feet( right left right left) I have done this for as long as I can remember. I dont do it while driving though.

Every time I turn off my car, I have to make sure that whatever is playing on the the stereo, radio or CD, is sufficiently “cool” in case someone gets in my car with me the next time and thinks I’m a dork for jamming out to something not hip enough. I feel like people would judge me for listening to certain radio stations.

I’m a very careful driver, but every time I notice a cop behind me I start feeling really paranoid that s/he is going to pull me over. For what? I don’t even know! I start driving like a nervous old lady, and if they’re close behind me and I can see them in my rear-view mirror I go out of my way to avoid eye contact because if I lock eyes with them they might pull me over. I’m so relieved when they finally turn down another street…

Every time I go through a green light, I thank it for being green. I feel like they have to deal with so much road rage, a simple ‘thank you’ might make them feel better.

I cannot physically fall asleep when someone else is driving. I feel like if I close my eyes and go to sleep we’ll go careening off the road.