i am neurotic.

when i was in this algebra class in college i convinced myself if i looked at my watch before 4pm i was going to either get pulled over, or die on the way home.

Whenever I get a cut and I bleed (no matter how small), I always have to put pressure on it with my finger and count to 60, otherwise I could bleed to death.

I update my AIM profile every day because I fear that if I die today whatever I have in there will be the last representation of me and needs to reflect me as a person in a form of an inspirational quote, photo, etc.

Ever since my mom died three years ago, I have to tell her I love her every night when I get into bed or I can’t go to sleep. But for some reason, I have to “draw” the words “I love you, Mommy!” on my pillow with my finger. It has to be just like that with the same punctuation and capitalization. The number of exclamation points can vary every night and I can add extra words (like “Happy Mother’s Day), but I have to do it every night no matter what.

This became a problem when I was the only driver on an overnight road trip. I decided I could pull over for a brief nap and sketch the words on the steering wheel with my finger.

before i open a can of soda i MUST tap the top of it exactly 25 times, if i don’t i believe it will explode and i will die.

When I was younger and I came home from school, I would always think that some killer was hiding in my house, waiting for me to arrive. Upon walking through the door, I would always perform the same routine: I’d put my book bag on the floor and head straight for the kitchen. I would find the biggest knife, and I would open every door in the apartment to see if anyone was there. I’d also look behind the shower curtain and under the beds. You name it, I looked there. It wasn’t until I did my complete search that I was satisfied. If I heard a sound that startled me, I’d perform the same ritual all over again. I don’t do that anymore, but I do still sleep with a knife under my pillow when I’m alone. Neurotic enough for ya?

When I was a teenager, I thought that my Mom was trying to poison me at the dinner table. I would look at my plate and decide which part of the food was poisoned and I wouldn’t eat it. I would think, “That pea is poisoned, all of the rest are okay, but that one will kill me.”

I feel if I get a song stuck in my head I have to sing it all the way through or something bad will happen to me or my family.

When falling asleep, if I have a bad thought about someone I love being murdered or getting raped or something else dreadful, I have to knock at least three times on wood. The knock must be audible.

This is an adult-onset neurosis. When I get mail asking for money for specific diseases or children with birth defects, I feel like I have to donate or I will die from that illness or my children will be born with horrific deformities. I am now on every charity list imaginable and now it is expanding to include helping women in all parts of the world so their circumstances don’t ever happen to me.