i am neurotic. » paranoia

sometimes gravity sucks

admin — Tue, 27 Apr 2010 20:40:11 +0000

I cannot lay flat on the ground facing the sky. I am terrified that somehow gravity will fail me and I will fall upwards into space.

thank me for making sure you’re alive

admin — Tue, 27 Apr 2010 20:36:56 +0000

When I’m lying in bed and I can’t hear my boyfriend breathing, I’m afraid he’s died and I have to shake him awake. The same goes for any sleeping person in my presence.

identity theft

admin — Wed, 31 Mar 2010 06:47:35 +0000

I always make sure the keyboard letters to my name are clean. Since I fear people might figure out my name, because they’re the dirtiest letters, and steal my identity.

dear diary, brad pitt asked me to marry him today

admin — Wed, 31 Mar 2010 06:45:24 +0000

When I write in my diary, I have to write a fake passage for every entry in case anybody is watching me or filming me while I write.

it was something in the beef that made us zombies

admin — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 17:36:39 +0000

Every time I see a building with a graveyard near it, particularly my school, I have to evaluate the building in case of a Zombie Attack. In every class, at some point, I have to come up with a way to survive or escape if the Zombies attack us all.

super mario ghost haunting

admin — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 06:53:32 +0000

As a kid, I played the Mario game for Super Nintendo. Particularly I remember the ghosts on some levels, the ones whom would stop once you looked at them. These levels were dark. So every time I’m in a dark room, I have to exit it facing the darkness, otherwise, the 64bit ghosts will slowly walk towards me.

peep show

admin — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 17:34:25 +0000

i am afraid that the mirrors in dressing rooms are two way, so i hate getting changed in them for fear of being watched. however, i am afraid to cover it because i don’t want them to think that i’m doing so to steal something without their knowledge. i therefore always keep my undershirt on and change with my back to the mirror.

dental hygiene keeps my family alive

admin — Fri, 22 Jan 2010 22:16:09 +0000

When I brush my teeth I count each stroke; if I do not do this my family will die.

periods are hidden

admin — Mon, 11 Jan 2010 17:41:08 +0000

When I am on my period, I drive extremely carefully because I don’t want to cause any kind of accident. I don’t want to doctors in the hospital to discover that I had a tampon inside of me when I died.

at least i won’t starve

admin — Mon, 11 Jan 2010 17:40:35 +0000

I am so neurotic I just bought one of the nonperishable food supplies that lasts for 6 months that Costco sells online just in case I am ever trapped or the apocalypse ensues.