i am neurotic.

I could never stay over my friends houses when I was little, because I would constantly worry that something would happen to my family. I would call home at three a.m. and claim that my stomach hurt. My mom and sister recently told me that they used to bet on what time I’d call home.

Whenever I’m at school, I’m paranoid that somebody will break into my locker and steal all of the important stuff I have stashed inside. Even though I know that I made sure it was locked several times and no one else has my combination, I still think it will be broken into sometime that day.

When I was younger my grandparents bought me and my brother harry potter towels. To this day I’ve never EVER used them because I’m afraid if I do, something bad will happen to my parents just like in Harry Potter.

Whenever I’m on holidays I try not to organise too many social events because I really want a few days to myself to veg out and relax. I then spend those days worrying about whether I have any friends and will die alone, having passed up invitations to sit at home and do nothing.

I can’t swim in my pool alone. I’m always afraid a shark will appear and eat me. Or the ghost of a former resident of my house. Or an alien.

Before I go to sleep each night, I have to stuff a blanket under my door, and make sure there are absolutely no little gaps where anything could come in. There can be no places where I could even mistake a gap for a shadow, it has to be perfect. If I do not do this, I can’t sleep. I feel as though something will slip under my door during the night and hurt me.

I hate bending over to pick things up in crowded areas. Not because I’m lazy just because of my irrational fear of someone farting in my face. My sister mocked me for it, but now she finds herself fearing the farts as well.

I saw the home security post, and had to post my version. Before I can leave my house I do what I term my “crazy check”. I must walk through my entire house checking each room and verbalizing aloud that it is “OK”. The worst room is the kitchen, which always gets checked twice. I will walk through, pointing at items such as the stove and saying “Stove off” or an ashtray saying “No cigarettes burning”. Once this is done, I will walk out, lock the door, push it three – five times, and then FINALLY decide it is safe to leave. Yes, that sounds like OCD, but it is my personal glitch.

I cannot leave the house without cough lozenges in my handbag, because I am afraid I will have a coughing fit in public that I can’t control. I once realized I had left the house without them and I started coughing uncontrollably and threw up a little in my mouth.

I have to check the bed for snakes before I will get in. If my husband’s already in bed, I will wake him up and make him get out, so I can thoroughly check. I make sure to leave the toilet seat down at night time, in case a snake comes up the toilet. I live in Ireland, and we have no snakes here. I’m not sure where I got my phobia from.