Apr
23

waiting its turn

When I am taking nails from my nail pouch, sometimes I have to put one down for one reason or another. If I start to work again, picking out a new nail from the nail pouch, then see the one that I had put down, I feel bad for it, and make the new one wait in line, so I can use the old one first.

x33      x75

the accommodating traffic light

Every time I go through a green light, I thank it for being green. I feel like they have to deal with so much road rage, a simple ‘thank you’ might make them feel better.

x59      x15
Feb
11

happy dryer means dry hands

I hate using the automatic hand dryers in restrooms because they can never dry your hands with one press of the button and you always have to press it a second time. I have to stand there with my hands under the dryer until it stops the second time or else I feel like I have wasted its time. I don’t want to be responsible for a depressed hand dryer.

x33      x47
Feb
04

marshmellow homicide

When I drink hot chocolate with marshmallows, I have to take out all of the marshmallows before I add the hot water. I feel like if I forget and the marshmallows melt….I have killed them. I have to wait until it has cooled down and then add them so that they can live until I drink them!

x36      x7
Jan
28

so sorry shoes

I love to buy shoes but every time I get a new pair of shoes that I find myself wearing a lot I start to feel like my old shoes become depressed and I’ll end up wearing them out of sheer guilt.

x30      x117
Jan
22

sex with roommates in the room

before i have sex, i have to move all the stuffed animals off my bed, for fear they might see me and be scarred. once, i forgot to move them and my boyfriend had to reassure me that all the stuffed animals were asleep…

x63      x33
Jan
16

save things that don’t need saving

When I was kid, I believed inanimate objects had feelings, so I wouldn’t kick stones. One time, I injured myself ‘rescuing’ a flashing traffic horse, after my friends had thrown it into a large puddle.

x27      x88
Dec
19

you can be tall too

We have ‘short’ forks and ‘long’ forks in my silverware drawer, with a slot just big enough for either. I’ve always felt bad for the short forks and sometimes mix them up with the long ones so that they can know what it feels like to be tall.

x76      x12
Dec
12

sorry i’m eating you!

I have to eat the ears of the chocolate rabbit last. If i bite his ears off first, i feel that he’ll be upset because he can’t hear me apologize.

x55      x8
Oct
20

i feel purple.

Whenever there is freeze pops at my house, everyone always eats every kind but the purple {grape} and the red {cherry.} But afterwards, i feel bad for the Purple kind, because no one likes it. So, i end up eating the purple kind. But not the red kind, because the red kind doesn’t care. The purple is the one that feels left out.

x75      x41