i am neurotic.

when i eat snack foods with faces, like goldfish or gummy bears, i have to eat them two at a time so that they can be with a friend when they die in my mouth.

I get really uncomfortable if I swallow two different pills at once. If they are the same medicine, I can take several at a time, but if they are different, I feel as if I have to take them one after the other, or else they might get confused.

I always feel that the yellow permanent marker is the rejected one, so I try to use it often because I feel bad for it.

Whenever i use the fat Crayola markers, and only those particular markers, i feel bad if i press hard. it just seems like the whole marker’s life is ruined and it will be scarred for life if the tip of the marker is not pointy. so when i use those markers, i try not to press hard so they maintain a nice point.

when i was a little kid, before i went to school every day, i would position my dolls and stuffed animals facing each other and tell them a game to play while i was gone. otherwise, i thought they would get lonely and hate me for leaving them.

Every time I buy something from a vending machine, I say “thank you.” I try not to do it too loud, just in case people will think I’m insane. It’s just an automatic reaction; the machine serves me, it deserves a thank you.

I can’t leave objects laying by themselves in places around the house. If I have a hairbrush on the counter, I have to put a comb or something by it before I leave the room so that it won’t get lonely or mad that it was left alone in my absence.

I hate, detest, despise and otherwise dislike paper clips that are bent out of shape (even slightly) and perfectly formed ones that are rusty or otherwise discolored. I absolutely refuse to use any of them but also can’t bring myself to hurt their feelings by throwing them away. So there they sit in little piles on my desk!

If I start a book, I have to finish it, even if it’s a terrible book and I hate it. I also can’t start any new books until I finish the book I’m currently reading. It’s as if the book will hate me and I will be a bad, bad person if I don’t remain monogamous to the book until the very end. I can’t leave a movie until the credits are finished, for the same reason.

I think any plastic bottle containing soap, shampoo, or conditioner has to be open or it will suffocate. Unused ones don’t count, so I’m safe in the market. Otherwise, I have to open it an let it breath.