i am neurotic.

when i pick my nose, and feel like i have a booger in the other nostril, i feel compelled to pick with the same hand as the side of the nostril it’s on. i HAVE to pick my right nostril with my right hand and pick my left nostril with my left hand. i have to. if not, i feel like i tainted the nostril with an opposing figure. i hate the feeling. it will bother me for hours…

When I have too much to drink you can easily tell because I wind up walking around with only my left eye open. I’m not able to focus my eyes very well when I’m sober, so when I get drunk my vision is shot. No one ever has to worry about me drinking and driving because it’s basically impossible to even attempt.

When I’m eating, I have to take turns eating with the left and right sides of my mouth. The food I don’t like as much (vegetables, pizza crust, yellow Skittles, etc.), I chew on the left side. I save the best parts and chew them on the right. I like to end my meal with a right-sided chew. Usually the “good” and “bad” foods are about equally divided, but if there’s a lot more of one or the other I end up taking huge, disgusting gobbles to even things out. I’ve done this since I was a kid and can’t stop even when I’m in public and people watch me dividing my food.

i have to lace every pair of my shoes such that the lace coming from the left is on top, and the lace coming from the right goes under.  i had to do this with 8 or 10 pairs of combat boots when i was in the service.

When I’m backing out of a parking space, I always have to turn out to the left from where I am parked. This may mean that I have to go around the block, but I feel as though I am more likely to get in a wreck if I turn out to the right.

As I walk I pay attention to how my feet feel. If one feels more worn-down than the other, I will purposely walk harder on the other until they feel the same.

My best friend always walks on my left.  We both get nervous if he’s on my right and have to change.

When I use the microwave, the number of buttons I push has to be equal so each hand can push the same amount of buttons. For example: If it takes 30 seconds to warm, I’ll push CLEAR-3-(left hand) -0-START(right hand) .

In the interests of fairness, if I put a sock on my left foot first, I have to put my right shoe on first, and vice versa. If one foot gets both the sock and the shoe last, I worry it will feel less important.

I have an automatic garage door opener for each of my two garage doors.  When the right-side door is closing, I have to be off of the garage floor (inside the house) before it finishes.  The left-side door I really don’t care.