i am neurotic.

When ordering food at a fast food restaurant at the end of the order they usual ask “would you like a drink with that?” Regardless of how thirsty I am I will never say “yes” because I don’t want to give them the satisfaction of thinking they convinced me I was thirsty when I really wasn’t.

When passing roadkill on the thruway, I have to say “I’m sorry baby”.    I find myself saying this all day long, as I drive for a living.

Everyday, at 7:47 am or pm, I always say Boeing, after the Airplane, and I don’t know why. I’ve gotten into a lot of trouble, and I even say it in my sleep.

Whenever I enter a room, I have to say “Hello, room.” It doesn’t matter if there are people in the room or not. People generally make the greeting a bit more awkward, but I feel disrespectful if I just walk in without saying anything. This is also necessary when I get in the car.

While driving I must scream at the top of my lungs when any driver passes me on the right.

I have to apologize to my electronics when I yell at them to work. Just in case they are angry and try to get me back for mistreatment.

Before falling asleep, I have to kiss my fiancee, say “I love you,” and then “good night.” She must repeat this action in order. If she does not, I have to start the process over again.